Abstinence

...makes stoopid cat cry

so sorry for not posting...EVER guys....ive been meaning to i just...cant really think of anything to talk about, my life isnt an enigma, it's clear, uneventful, and boring. not that this is a bad thing of course, but if i honestly felt a deep sense of happening that so many of my friends appear to, it would make the act of blogging a bit easier on my part.

actually, something HAS happened, and i suppose it deserves recognition. i just got back(back to civilization and sanity that is) from a visit to my mother's, currently in virginia beach (this is for all the confused people that still might think she still lives in the country). it really made me respect and understand the way i live, and i realized how silly the way we all act about it is.

let me organise this better, so to prove my point

1) my mom and her family (step dad, brother, sister) live by the phrase "living pay-check to paycheck", this means that all the money they have every week is completly dependent on how much money they have in their weekly paycheck, and when it arrives. this of course means that in the case the paycheck should arrive a day late, there's no money untill it finally arrives. this is exactly what happened. except it was worse, because my step dad's pay-check (he's the one thats currently working there) arrives every saturday, and mail doesnt come on sundays, this meant that instead of being just one day late it was TWO.
now....all you little kiddies probably are thinking, "what does she mean by no money left, like, did they have only 100 bucks left or something? did they only have their credit cards?" no. i mean NO MONEY. i dont think they even have a credit card, god knows they couldnt afford to have one. so, by friday, there was approximatly 20 dollars to live on. 20 dollars for food, gas, and other various immediate needs. it sucked. think about that next time you think your family is broke silly upper middle class americans. YOU DONT KNOW POOR!!!!!

2) the house was filthy, i mean FILTHY! all types of food substances were thrown about the carpet, sofas, and floor. there was a slight smell of rot every where you went. children went around delighting in trying to fart in each other's faces (and mine, i dont think they quite realized our cultural differences prohibited me from joining them). even the things we talked about and the way we spoke was disgusting, most of it was resulted of an intense TMI factor.

3) i was almost never alone, and when i was it was for a very short time. im VERY used to my privacy, and usually spend hours alone every day. it was different here of course, not only was i never alone, but the focus of someone was constantly on me. usually the children would be badgering me about something (it's because they love me, i know, but it still got on my nerves a lot) or fighting with one another, and though when they were fighting it never directly impacted me, it was loud, ugly, and extremly worrying (fine, it may or may not be because i care about them ;))so most of my visit i was overstimulated by other's presence...

and, well, it's sort of a reminder why i think all my friends who complain (and me too, dont think i forgot) about boys, parents, and how "horrible" their life are so silly. because i doesnt matter. because, in the grande scheme of things, with all that time your complaining about things that dont, and wont ever, truly matter, you could be doing something really great, you could be improving you person, you could be creating and learning, or, at the very least, you could be having a good time. and your life is pretty fucking great (excuse my language) no wait- ITS REALLY FUCKING GREAT! you have a house, you have wonderful parents that love you and care for you, no matter if they get mad sometimes, your filthy rich in about 90% of the world, and your not being beaten to death every time you leave your house! you have a pretty amazing life right there, whether you know it or not, and wasteing it on worrying about things that wont put you in heaven is rediculous to say the least.

but i have nothing else to say, except for this was a good rant, i enjoyed it, i hope you did too :) oh, this would be a good time to tell my new school year's goal, my goal is "stop wasteing your life" i think it's a good one, and the year is coming up :D so i hope i fulfill my goal